Recently

It’s December again before I know it—already the end of the year. I’ve been absent from the internet for months, and it’s been three months since my last blog update. I wasn’t sure what to write, yet I always felt like writing something. Since I have some free time today, let me take this chance to talk about what’s happened over the past few months.

June

I left school in June and became an unemployed "college student" at home. Watching friends around me gradually land jobs, I couldn’t help but wonder why I hadn’t. Maybe it’s due to my personality—I’ve been anxious about employment since high school. Fortunately, a friend online reached out to me in April, asking, "Do you want to come work with me after graduation?" That simple sentence was like a calming anchor, giving me a sense of belonging amid uncertainty.

At the end of the month, my family and I took a week-long self-drive trip along the Western Sichuan loop—Jiuzhaigou, Ruoergai Grassland, the Giant Panda Nature Reserve, and Siguniang Mountain. I’ve been to Western Sichuan countless times, yet each visit offers new scenery and lets me capture photos I truly love. I have to say, Western Sichuan is incredibly beautiful.

July

With nothing much to do at home in early July, I decided to get a yearly gym membership. The annual pass was quite affordable, but the gym industry is truly murky—prices varied wildly when I talked to different people. I nearly got scammed as a clueless newbie, but luckily, I smartly found someone on Xianyu (a secondhand marketplace) to transfer their card to me for 1,200 RMB per year.

As an extreme introvert and first-time gym-goer, I didn’t know how to use the treadmill and was too shy to ask others. For several days in a row, I’d just swim for an hour and then head home. It wasn’t until my friend had time after work to come with me that he taught me how to use the treadmill. The first time I stepped on it felt really weird—but also like a fun new experience. I stuck with it for about two months, swimming and running every day, and managed to lose 10 pounds (though I’ve probably gained it back by now).

At the end of the month, I rode the city’s loop greenway with a friend. For someone who rarely bikes, I’m actually quite proud of myself. Around the 70-kilometer mark, I almost gave up. Honestly, the only thing that kept me going on my mountain bike for over 100 kilometers was the thought of posting it on social media—raw life, polished朋友圈 (friend circle).

August

Most of August was spent meeting up with friends. Mid-month, I went to the 2024 Chengdu World Horticultural Expo with good friends. We wandered from morning till night and even watched a fireworks show. Honestly, I found it a bit dull—just miniature versions of iconic buildings from different regions. But being there with close friends made it genuinely enjoyable.

At the end of the month, I returned to my hometown, Guang’an, to celebrate a middle school classmate’s birthday. I transferred back to their school in my third year of middle school, so we were only classmates for about half a year. Yet we’re still in touch today. I don’t know why, but the mischievous ones from back then always seem to find each other.

Later, I attended a primary school classmate’s wedding. Yes, you heard that right—me, 20 years old, attending a primary school friend’s wedding. It felt surreal. While I’m still fumbling through life, they’re already getting married. It suddenly made me feel a growing gap between myself and some adults.

September

After three months at home, I decided in September to start working with my friend and moved thousands of miles away to Fujian. My first day at work felt strange. As someone who’s always been on the move, I’m surprised I can actually sit down and focus on work—maybe that’s growth?

At the end of the month, I met an online friend I’ve known for seven years—the longest friendship I’ve maintained from the internet so far. A quote I’ve always loved:

We shouldn’t be limited to the internet.

I also traveled to many places in Fujian.

October

At the beginning of the month, my best friend gifted me a concert ticket—my first live concert experience. It was Wu Qixian. I’d never really paid attention to him before. I searched online the night before, but still had no real impression. Once the concert started, though, I gradually got drawn in. Despite being a post-00s generation member, I realized I’d unknowingly grown up with many of his songs. The live atmosphere was incredibly powerful—totally different from listening through headphones. If I get the chance, I’d definitely go to a Joker Xue concert.

Later, I struggled to adapt to life here. Being alone in an unfamiliar city often left me feeling helpless, so I eventually returned to Chengdu.

November

I took on some freelance work and stayed mostly busy. At the end of the month, I found time to update my blog. The latest version of my current theme changed drastically, causing merge conflicts with my forked upstream branch. So I just deleted the repo and started fresh—adapting the latest version to my preferred style. With the update, I removed redundant styles and code. Back in 2019, I compressed my favorite font, Chūshi A-Maru, from over 20MB down to about 2MB for use across my sites—a version I’ve used for nearly five years. A few days ago, I finally added the missing characters I’d long noticed but never fixed.

It felt like a sudden redemption for my long-standing OCD.

Finally

Traveling far from home brought many reflections. I’m not sure if it’s youthful arrogance or just an overly restless mindset, but I often catch myself overthinking trivial matters. When I see others struggling with something I know the answer to, I tend to preach—something I truly dislike about myself. I know it’s wrong, yet I can’t always stop. My self-control still has a long way to go. Gradually, I find it harder to focus on many things. In this fast-paced era, reading and taking notes have slowly become luxuries. My personality is slowly changing too. Confidence is a long journey—there are still moments when I hesitate and stall. But the wind won’t stop. We must keep moving forward, facing it head-on.